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Ok, so where to start. I haven't written in this thing in so long I really don't know where I left off. I think the last thing I really talked about was before my graduation. Ok, so I'll try to get as much information as possible that I can recall. Ok, well graduation was on June 1st! I was so happy to finally get high school out of the way but I'm still not 100% positve about what I want to do now. College is of course I must but where I wanna go and what I wanna do is the problem. Ok, well let me continue with what has happened. Ok, so the day after graduation my sister threw me and my other sister a party. We invited a few people from school and not many showed up which is totally cool because I had a good time and I know a few of them had their own parties to attend to so that's fine. I'm not exactly popular either so I wasn't expecting a big turn out but I still had a good time. A few of my friends did show up and I had fun with those and my family of course. Of course, it can't be a party without it's share of drama. My sister and my cousin got into because one of my friends had gotten drunk, she's 18, and my cousin who's 28 let her go down on him on the side of the freaking house and my sister, the one who threw the party like went over there and told her to get up and blah blah, my sister and my cousin started arguing. Went down for like 40 minutes I guess but then they were cool again. My friend was crying and stuff but oh well, she's fine now. She just tought that people were talking about her and she taught that she ruined my party and stuff. I'm just like, psh, I don't care, I'm having a good time. It was my first time ever drinking anything other than a few sips here and there from others so yeah, I got a little buzz but that was about it. It went away a little after I ate. Ok, so anyways, oh, and my other friend, this dude like hit on me. At first he like grabbed my hand and was like, hey Martin, go out w/ me. I was like, "Shut up T" I pulled away from him....ok, I better stop writing for right now because it said I have to submit in 5 minutes. Ok, so to be continued I guess...until next time :)

The photo is me and my son Jacob Arthur! He's 7 months old!

I decided to come to this site because I want people to post comments on my journals. I have some on myspace but none of my friends I have there ever post any comments and sometimes a girl needs advice other than her friends.

There has been acouple offights this week alone one because of my sister and the other because of my friend who I no longer want to speak to because she continues to choose her stupid boyfriend over her friends. He's a real jerk he threatens to leave her every other week and gets an attitude with her if he don't get his way especially when it's dealing with money. He doesn't like to spend his money but loves trying to take it from her and she usually almost always gives in. They fight all the time and sometimes when they fight he puts his hands on her. and she wonders why I don't like him and she says I have no reason to be mad at her for something she had nothing to do with. I'm mad at her because she won't defend me when her boyfriend and her boyfriends mother harrass, attack, abuse, and threaten me on line. Her boyfriend and his mom thinks I'm stupid but yet I'm the one who's about to walk across the stage for a diploma in Graphic Design from College. They've never went. And they think I'm stupid. Godly. Yeah I'm still mad about the things that were said but do you think I can get an apology no I can't even get that! It's ridiculous, two grown ass people started the fight with me a college student who would rather be without drama in her life. So yeah you tell me do I have a right to be mad at her when she won't even defend me?

Then the fight with my sister is she recently found she's pregnant by her boyfriend of course who she lives with now and she decided to get married to him for health insurance and other reasons. Well she didn't tell no one she was getting married. She only told the people who she invited which was my aunt, uncle and cousin and my great uncle who is town from london, her two friends and her other friends husband and their baby. how are you going to get married knowing half of your family is missing. there was no grandparents, no mother, no sister, no nephew at her ceremony that she had at the court house. then to top it off my aunt and great uncle gave her money. so there a few people who are a lil teed off with her right now and i'm one of them. so i decided that im not going to her baby shower come late july because i wasn't invited to the wedding why go to that? her friend says im bogas what do you guys think?

I hope I didn't confuse any of you by typing so much information but I really need to get this drama off my chest and I need someone to talk to about it cuz it's driving me crazy without any one to talk to.

Dear journal,

im finally home from thumpers house cuz it was really boring!!! i have cheer practice tommorow and i really dont want to go but i have to because if i want my tuck then i have to go. I have been really moody lately but i really dont kno why it could be because of scewl i used to go to my friends and tell them everything and even my darkest secrets wich i dont really do. But i guess u just really have to make sure u choose the right ppl to hang out with!!!!

Sunday, June 17 - 9:30 p.m.

Ron had a good day today. He is beginning to turn his head and follow people and voices around the room. Happy Father's Day!!

I am watching a movie on Oxygen waiting for Laura to get home from Ga.

Learned on the People's Pharmacy today on NPR:

Heart Math

Theory of Becoming Congruent (Congruency)

One of the most simple things to do to lower your blood pressure which will, in turn help your blood sugar.... sorry butI must also note at this point to remember that Adreniline = hormones like cortizone that stay in the body... day after day it takes a toll on us.. Stress... is the #1 cause of death in US... heart attack, stroke, high blood pressure, diabeties and obesity can all be tied to having these hormonal stress reactions (like a tiger is after you). Our lifestyle is that we answer at any time and even like being bugged by technology, etc. Even watching the evening news can cause what I want to call "Tiger Stress" which is an overreaction. Effects hormones! Everything in the body is so inter-related. Health is so important. The HEART is the center of the body. Become heart friendly.

So... 3 steps to "congruency":

1. Imagine in your mind's eye that your are breathing through your heart. Slow your breathing. Take about 5-6 seconds to inhale and 5-6 seconds to exhale. Remember... you are breathing through your heart. The center of your chest.

hi everone i hate my life so let me give you an update.

i have a sister, im popular with friends and i have my friends over alot!

my sister is a bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate her she ruins everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

today i had 2 people over & one was her friend her friend diddnt wnt to play with my sister because she only comes over to play with me!!!

so she made up all this shit up about me & also reported everthing that i did, ate or said to my mum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

by 4 now

alanna cassar